Ronan Baird was born via c-section on September 20, 2009. He weighed 5 lbs 11 oz, 18 inches long, a full head of dark brown hair with frosted tips. He is an absolute dream of a baby, so easy to care for. Mama and baby are doing well and back home now. I will try to update again soon and post a pic of him.

I came from a spark, an ember of energy that evolved into something new...that first cry was my announcement of new existence. The first touch I felt an affirmation that I had arrived. I came from that web that connects every spark of energy in the universe, I live with one foot planted in the material expanse we call earth, and the other roams free through the cosmic consciousness. Free to reach out and touch all those connected to that greater whole.

So yeah, I came from a spark...a tiny spark of life...

Where did you come from?

It has been entirely too long since I posted in this blog of mine. I admit, I did the very same thing I have done so many times before tonight when coming to this realization. I almost closed the page. After all, I am tired, it is late, morning comes sooner than we think...

I do this with other things as well, so by no means take my procrastination as a sign of indifference. Take school for example: this class is boring, the teacher sucks, I just don't have time right now, I just had my gall bladder removed...okay, so that last one isn't really an excuse, but still...

The point is, there is always something one can find to busy his or herself with rather than carve a moment or two out to accomplish something he or she has been meaning to. Well, it is about time I stop doing so. I need to stop finding the excuses and start finding reasons to press forward.

A few months ago I was stressing over the thought of losing our home. Bills were piling up, still no income to speak of, and there was no bailout in sight. Well, we've been camping for the last several months, income is slowly surfacing, but not nearly enough to get us into a stationary home yet, and the funny thing is, I'm not worried about it. Don't get me wrong, I do not look forward to the idea of camping in the hot summer months here, but I am not worried about that happening either.

The children are having a blast, homeschooling has taken on a whole new level of enjoyment. We discovered laptops and wifi...A new business is blossoming. Yet another reason that I must make the conscious decision to not allow obstacles to stand in my way...The list goes on. Reality, we've learned to enjoy the moment fully. Every moment, of every day, and life is phenomenal!

So here I am, and here I plan to be each time I find a moment of quiet, because as the saying goes, "today is the first day of the rest of my life..."

I vow to no longer allow my inhibitions stop me from letting my thoughts flow onto the screen. In truth, it matters little if others are not finding enjoyment in my words...there is a nice x in the corner of the page, they have the right to click on it if they would rather not read. Sometimes, and probably more often than I give myself credit for, my words just might reach someone that needs to hear them for some reason or another. My silence merely deprives them of such.

I will not for one second longer delude myself into thinking that I should not burden others with any of my personal struggles. Reality is that others, much like myself, desire to be there in times of need. I remove any option for them to do so whenever I choose not to open my heart to them.

Fear will not guide my decisions in life. It is due time I follow the drumming of my heart and spend less energy on fear of rejection, failure, loss, and so on. Life is worth living, if not, what is it for?

The worth of a person is not measured in the amount of things they have, but rather in the breaths they make count.

I will no longer apologize for things I have not done wrong, such as rambling. After all, we mentioned the nice little x at the corner of the page, if I am too long winded, feel free to utilize your right to click on it.

With all that said, I wish everyone that got this far a beautiful day and a bright tomorrow. Never lose sight of your dreams, never stop living in the moment, never cease to see the glory of each and every breath that you and your loved ones take...

The moment you do...well, if you are smart, that moment will be the marking of  "end game."

Much love to you all from my home to yours,
Diane

This morning I woke in darkness. Not the kind of darkness that comes with night, more my future looked bleak and dismal. It was all I could do to climb out of bed and start another day. Suddenly nothing appeared positive, not even this little life growing within me...

Tonight, I find myself coming out of the fog, so to speak. We are still losing our water tomorrow, but somehow I know we will be all right. I keep feeling a change in the air, yet tonight, for the first time,  I know I am open and ready for that change to occur.

Material things are important for sustainability. However, things must be right with one's soul before the material falls in place.

Oh Mother of all that is, I open my heart, my soul, my spirit, ready and willing to accept your many gifts of abundance.

So mote it be.

Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again...or something like that.

Well, I am still alive, though I have no great words of wisdom to share at this point in time. Perhaps one of these days soon, I will figure out the answer to all this. One step at a time, one day at a time, fake it til you make it, and all that jazz. Hope everyone else is well and good.

One foot before the other, at least I think that is what it said...one step, then another...follow me to the land of the dead....

I found myself stumbling, falling, twisting, turning...an arch of the back, a tilt of the head, spiraling, ever spiraling to some abstract abyss...

The mind has set to wander...thought persists yet ceases to exist...a sordid train set upon derailing...

a gasp..for air...despair...with care...in dreams...awake...still destined to take shape.

If only there were silence, a mere moment of silence, peace, calm, refrain...if only, I say again...sigh

When all are sleeping and the house is silent...the air is heavy...darkness surrounds, and dreams unfold...alas the words are gone....

I meant to say something...but I forgot

There is time, but do not ask me what this means. I have not yet figured it out. These are the first words to creep into my thoughts in the morning. They have become some bizarre mantra of sorts.  Though it would be nice to understand the meaning of them.

What is there time for? I can think of many things that there would be time for, but what specifically is nagging at me so?

While I do not understand its exact meaning, it is oddly comforting. This I must admit if I am to be honest. Life can seem so unfair at times, and struggles are abundant currently. Yet, "there is time," and suddenly I calm.

It would seem I rather answered the question myself, perhaps it is simply that calming factor in my present life: needing no further explanation.

Please send positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, etc. We have seven days or so to play the waiting game. My darling husband is waiting to hear on a job he truly wants and that would turn our lives around.

This earnestly feels like the direction we are meant to go in.

Things have been exceedingly crazy around her lately. I will carve out time to update soon.

It turns out the children did not have the measles after all. They do not know what it was. It had all the same symptoms of the measles, but the rash never came.

Yay! We made it through our first block of classes! It looks like I have a 4.0 GPA right now!